Monday, February 22, 2016

Mara Mixtape Vol. 2: Greatest Hits of the Hyena

It should come as no surprise to our readers that we spend a LOT of time with hyenas. After spending months with our study subjects, we’ve all developed an acute case of “hyena on the brain.” Though my last Mara Mixtape was sadly lacking in hyena songs, rest assured we’ve come up with a song for just about every situation involving hyenas we’ve ever encountered, and I’d like to share some of them with you now. You’ll notice we’ve shifted from a classical/instrumental genre into somewhat more modern songs, which are far easier to sing acapella obnoxiously in the car when we encounter the scenarios I’ll describe below.

Who Are You? – The Who
This is probably the song we sing most often to hyenas. It's pretty self-explanatory.

Ridin’ – Chamillionaire
I’m not going to include a link to this song as most of the lyrics are very not safe for work, but suffice to say the opening line is very relevant. Emily reduced the entire car to tears of laughter last week when she burst into “They see me rollin’, they hatin’” while watching a hyena wiggling around scratching its back.

Somebody That I Used to Know – Gotye
As Emily mentioned in a recent blog post, we’ve been struggling to find the lost clan of Happy Zebra for several months now. On the rare occasions we do find an individual of Happy Zebra clan, we experience the terrible sensation of scrambling to remember the spots of a hyena we once knew like the back of our hands. Alas, that is no longer the case, so this song seemed very appropriate.

Brown Eyed Girl – Van Morrison
Some of the male hyenas called me up with a request for this volume of my mixtape. They want to dedicate this song to the lovely hyena ladies of the Mara. Here’s to you, brown-eyed hyena girls!

Bonus track:

Fancy – Iggy Azalea
I had to include one non-hyena track on this list because it was too good to resist. Male topi have the most hilarious display behavior they use to show off for females. They hold their heads and tails as high as they can, and do a high-stepping trot like a dressage horse, usually for a female who already has a baby and is therefore totally uninterested in him. It's impossible to watch without smiling, and for me, without hearing Iggy Azalea croon about how fancy she is. 

1 comment:

Jaime Tanner said...

my personal fav:

" I like big spots and I can-not lie, now researchers can't deny, that when you have a hyena that has big spots you know you can iden-ti-fy them down - to the individual- is it kierkegaard or falafel? If you want to know why leonardo won't go its 'cause - Murphy got the big old spots, oh yeah, Gucci got the big ole spots oh yeah" and so on through the clan.

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