I am sitting up, WIDE awake
at 3:30 in the morning in our Nairobi cottage.
While jet-lag may be partially to
blame, the most likely culprit is the hyrax.
Let me tell you about the hyrax.
A fascinating creature, the hyrax looks like an adorable
fluffy, over-sized rodent. Looking at
it, one might guess that it is the African equivalent of a guinea pig or a
small-eared rabbit.
A little bit of research reveals that the hyrax is not
a rodent but is, in fact, the closest living relative to elephants and manatees.
This is a tree showing the relationship between hyraxes and their closest living relatives. |
All this sounds well and good. Right now, you may be thinking, “Hyrax =
cool, fuzzy, tiny elephant cousin, how adorable! How could a creature so awesome be keeping
you awake at night, Kenna? Are they
cuddling you too hard, making it difficult to breathe? Are you really the kind of person that lays
awake at night thinking about how awesome natural selection is?” (Yes, I am, but that’s besides the point, so
ignore it for now)
If you are thinking that, boy do I have news for you: YOU ARE WRONG.
The hyrax is an evil, terrible, monstrous creature. Their call, which only happens at night
because they are nocturnal (or maybe they are nocturnal so they can maximize
the evil effects of their calling) is the most horrific sound I have come
across in Kenya. Arguably, it is the
most horrific sound in the entire natural world. If you know of a worse one, please let me
know. Maybe that knowledge will help me
sleep at night in a “a least it’s just a hyrax and not a (INSERT WORSE CREATURE
NOISE HERE)” kind of way.
Their calls can range anywhere from “The loudest, largest,
longest bullfrog croak the earth has ever heard,” past “Is that really a dragon
screeching outside my window,” to “Someone is torture-murdering a baby out
there.” It’s hard to know which version
is worse.
I fully expect you to now be thinking, “Surely, you must be
exaggerating, Kenna. You’re jet-lagged
and lonely in the cottage.” This is
exactly why I recorded the little monsters.
See how long you can listen to this auditory torture:
Hopefully, at this point in the blog, you feel my sleepless
pain. Maybe tomorrow, or a week from now
I will take comfort in the idea that people around the world are commiserating
with me. For now, I will try to find
solace in the belief that someone, somewhere in the film industry loves the
hyrax for its sound effect potential.
6 comments:
Oh, so THIS is why you spent months researching and purchasing all that fancy sound equipment! Next project: do cows have individual vocal signatures? This requires Kenna to individually record the MOOO of every cow that ever enters Talek camp and analyze their spectrograms. Good luck!
Oh.My.God.
It's worse than you described!
Could I suggest making more recordings of this little horror and sending them to major Los Angeles SFX firms? I think you're right, and that your recordings will raise the bar for sounds of world destroying monsters in future science fiction films.
I believe that this is what they made earplugs for.
Its a great tape, but what doesn't come through on my laptop is how LOUD those calls are. I never understood how a creature that small could produce such a noise. I love your description of it!
Ah, the Karen cottage. Picturesque 'Out of Africa' by day, and frightening hell scape by night. Somehow I actually forgot how awful that sound is!
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