The Luckiest Warthog in the Mara

I confess, before today I never found warthogs to be particularly impressive. Of course, this was before I met the champion of all warthogs. His athletic skills when faced with a rambunctious pack of hyper hyenas were beyond compare, as he managed to weave and dodge the whole lot for the better part of five minutes. A credit to his kin and all he stands for, he towers alone as a shining beacon at which a baffled pack of carnivores and this amused researcher can but wonder. Evolution, take notes.

This warthog weaved through these hyenas better than some scrappy wide receiver weaves through his more intimidating opponents to run the football in for the game winning touchdown.

 
This warthog weaved through these hyenas better than our cruiser weaves through 400 cows during our morning livestock traffic jam.

 
This warthog weaved through these hyenas better than I weave through a crowd of 10,000 MSU students on my bike when I'm 20 minutes late to class.

This warthog weaved through these hyenas better than your mom weaves through a frantic Kroger the day before Thanksgiving.

 

This warthog weaved through these hyenas better than Beyonce weaved through a crowd of rabid Grammy fans while 5 months pregnant with twins.



And as if he didn't already earn the title of the Baddest Pig in East Africa, this spectacular warthog proceeds to feast in the middle of the den of his foiled adversaries after besting them in the chase. My hero.