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| A magnificent bull Eland sporting a trendy dewlap* around its jowly neck. |
Height: 1.6m (♂♂) and 1.4m (♀♀) at the shoulder
Weight: 500-600kg
(♂♂) and
340-445 kg (♀♀), largest
being 942kg
First Described By: Peter Simon Pallas in 1766
Number of Horns: 2 Number
of Legs: 4
Does it have a tail?: Yes! Very handy for swatting those
pesky biting insects.
Circadian Rhythm: Diurnal
Mara High School Superlative: Largest antelope in Kenya…definitely
largest antelope in its graduating class, only the Giant Eland is greater in size
but he plays for our cross-continent rivals and is not considered in this
analysis.
Best Friend in the Mara: Sadly, none really – Eland are kind
of stuck up and they don’t like associating with others outside of their
herd. They are still really beautiful
though!
Predator Response:
Not many carnivores are insane enough to attack Eland. They congregate in large herds of up to 500
individuals, are very wary and shy of outsiders, can move surprisingly quickly
for animals of their size…oh yeah and their size, would you want to take on an
animal capable of acquiring the mass of a metric ton? But if a carnivore was
insane enough, the Eland would utilize postural movements, its advanced vocal
repertoire of loud barks, and the flehmen response to warn others of
danger. The herd would then gracefully
vacate the area. Normally predators are
so very mesmerized by the graceful, synchronized gliding of the Eland that they
simply stop and stare to relish such a beautiful sight.
Preferred Habitat: Common Eland prefer habitats with a wide
variety of flowering plants like savannah, woodlands, and even montane
grasslands…but they despise dense forest because even though they won’t admit
it, they are very afraid of the dark (some even sleep with night lights!).
Special Powers: The Eland is capable of jumping 2.4 meters
straight into the air from a standstill, which not only means that it can box
jump Yao Ming – but also complete a 100m hurdle involving Dikembe Mutombo,
Shaquille O’Neal, Wilt Chamberlain, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Frankenstein, James P.
Sullivan from Monsters Inc., and the Flying Spaghetti Monster faster than
Kendra Harrison. Also as a footnote,
males are capable of growing a dewlap*, very special indeed. This unique feature is a continuous piece of
loose skin which hangs about their necks with a tuft of thick black hair
growing on the end that increases their sexiness to female Eland.
Weaknesses: The Eland cannot sprint, anatomically cannot –
perhaps due the fact that it can outweigh a Volkswagen Beetle. However, as meager compensation evolution saw
fit to grant them the power to out-trot every other antelope in the animal
kingdom. Seriously they are really good
a trotting.
If it was rendered into one of the Original 151 Pokémon:
650 HP, 450 Defense, 300 Attack, 330 Special, 240 Speed.
Is it Noble?: Absolutely, look up nobility in your
dictionary and you will find a picture of an Eland. Eland is also a synonym for nobility if you
have one of those fantastic pocket thesaurus gizmos on your person.
What would happen if it fought a Lion?: First of all, female
Eland would not fight a lion, they would abstain peacefully. However, male Eland with lower moral
standards could be tricked into fighting a lion. The Eland could not out-sprint the lion, since
it literally can’t, but it could trot away from it for a significant period of
time. Whenever the lion got close the
Eland would simply box jump over it and continue trotting in the opposite direction. Eventually, the lion would become so
exhausted from dehydration that it would faint – ceding the KO to the Eland by
default.
Final Rating: 9/10
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