Eland (Erin’s choice)
• Intimidatingly large
• Able to jump 8-10 feet in the air from a standstill. Arguably not useful for a battle scenario, but really awesome anyway
• Impressive horns
• Pre-equipped with tassels for that “parade armor” look
• Horns are pointed directly at the rider’s face, instead of at the enemy. Could possibly be remedied by strategic placement of tennis balls at the end of the horns.
• Very shy. Much more likely to flee the battle than charge into the middle of it
• Excellent view of battlefield
• Enemy can’t reach you
• Built-in slow motion run for maximum cool factor
• Enemy can’t reach you, but you can’t reach the enemy either. Long range weaponry recommended
• Weirdly-shaped back. Where do you put a saddle?
• If you fall, it’s a loooong way down
• Super majestic
• Harder to be intimidating when your steed has a heart for a nose
|Baby zebra not included in battle scenario|
• Basically a horse. Wouldn’t even have to design a new type of saddle.
• Aggressive in defense of their herd. Hopefully this would carry over to the battlefield
• Notoriously difficult to tame.
• Can run forever without getting tired
• Built-in weaponry
• Too short to comfortably ride. Enemy would probably laugh at you and your dragging toes. Actually, that might make this cycle back around to a pro again, if enemy is too busy laughing at you to properly defend themselves.
|Don't let the calm demeanors fool you. They're trying to lure you into a false sense of security.|
The verdict? Maybe we should stick to horses and Land Cruisers. But it’s fun to think about, isn’t it?